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The majority of parents do a good job teaching their children to beware of strangers. Yet most victims of child sexual abuse know the sex offender. In a study of twenty adult sex offenders conducted by Jon Conte, Steven Wolf and Tim Smith; two of the key questions asked were: 1. “Was there something about the child’s behavior which attracted you to the child?” Responses included: • “The warm and friendly child or the vulnerable child…Friendly, showed me their panties.” • “The way the child would look at me, trustingly.” • “The child who was teasing me, smiling at me, asking me to do favors.” • “Someone who had been a victim before—[spanking or inappropriate touch]—quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been a victim would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty… Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.” 2. “After you had identified a potential victim, what did you do to engage the child into sexual contact? Responses included: • “I didn’t say anything. It was at night, and she was asleep. • “Talking, spending time with them, being around them at bedtime, being around them in my underwear, sitting down on the bed with them… Constantly evaluating the child’s reaction… A lot of touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling.” • “Playing, talking, giving special attention, trying to get the child to initiate contact with me… From here I would initiate different kinds of contact, such as touching the child’s back, head… Testing the child to see how much she would take before she would pull away. • “Isolate them from any other people. Once alone, I would make a game of it (red light, green light with touching up their leg until they said stop). Making it fun.” • “Most of the time I would start by giving them a rub down. When I got them aroused, I would take the chance and place my hand on their penis to masturbate them. If they would not object, I would take this to mean it was Okay... I would isolate them. I might spend the night with them… Physical isolation, closeness, contact are more important than verbal seduction.” We cannot ignore the sophistication of sex offenders’ efforts to desensitize the child through the gradual development of a relationship with the child and progressing from non-sexual touch (touching a leg, back or head) to sexual touch. Given that 95-99 percent of sex offenders are people their victims know and trust—family members and other trusted adults—even children as young as two can be taught to know what to do to protect him/herself. For a child who has been taught only to say, “No’ to touching his/her private parts—one of the consequences of this relationship building and desensitization process is self-blame. By the time the child realizes that his/her private parts were touched—the damage is done—and the child may believe he/she has given consent to the abuse. He/she thinks because he/she did not say, “No” when the adult rubbed her/his back or head, he/she is to blame. It only takes one second for a sex offender to stick his tongue into a child’s mouth when he is giving a ‘traditional family’ kiss on the lips. It only takes one second for a sex offender to put his hand up a girl’s leg and touch a child’s labia while she sits on his lap. Studies reveal that teaching a child to say, “No” has little impact because it is rare a child will affect more than weak resistance against a known sex offender. Furthermore, the sex offender will usually ignore a simple, “No.” The sex offender uses subtle or blatant threats, intimidating the child into compliance and silence. My book, If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, emphasizes six important prevention techniques. • Non-violation of sacred Body boundaries—to thwart the sex offender who counts on—a child who has been violated before—quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been a victim, would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty… Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.” • Good, Appropriate Touch • Appropriate Body Boundaries • Good Body Image • Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything—No Secrets Rule • Appropriate Suspicion Appropriate Suspicion (intuition, a.k.a. sixth sense) alone when acted upon empowers the child to thwart the majority of would-be sex offenders. Coupled with the other five techniques—your child is well prepared to stop every sex offender in their tracks. Trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense and allowing your child to trust his/her intuition is paramount to protecting children from sex offenders, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. Children are naturally intuitive and often sense an adult’s ulterior motives, although you may not suspect anything. We need to accept the reality that no one can be considered exempt from being a sex offender, including all family members. As a parent, be appropriately suspicious and trust your intuition. If you err in evaluating a situation, make the error on the side of your child. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child, until you can investigate further. The title of my book, If I’d Only Known… is the lament of my friend’s daughter whose three-year-old son was sexually abused by her step-mother’s ten-year-old son. If only I had known that he would potentially abuse other children because he was sexually abused, I would never have let John play in the backyard alone with him.” She was right, if only parents knew the fact that sexual abuse is perpetrated, ‘anywhere, anytime, and by someone you least expect, they could protect children from this heinous crime. Another important aspect of child protection is taking responsibility. “Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it.” –Jean-Paul Sartre “We are not only responsible for what we do, but also, for what we don’t do.” –Voltaire “The worst way you can choose is to choose no way at all.” –Friedrich II “Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” –Caroline Myss “You can not change that which you do not acknowledge. –Dorothy M. Neddermeyer penis enlargment herb enhancement manhattan penis pro solution penile enlargement testimonials magnarx elargement manhattan penis surgeon permanent pnis enlargement medical penis elargement natural pnis enlargement technique

If you have taught your child all the rules of ‘stranger danger’ you have protected him/her from a 1% chance of being sexually abused. This leaves your child vulnerable to the most likely sexual child abuse offender, family members or other trusted adults. 80% of children are sexually abused by a family member, 19% are abused by someone the child knows and trusts. The other little known statistic is the frequency of sexual child abuse. David Finkelhor and Dianna Russell’s research reveals 62% of girls and 31% of boys will be sexually abused by age 18. Unfortunately this statistic is considered low due to the difficulty in gathering data through surveys or reporting agencies. For many decades we have screamed, ranted, condemned, demanded and enacted legislation to punish sex offenders to little avail. The news media and magazines have joined in the campaign to illuminate the problem after the damage is done. As a result of the media’s incessant coverage and hype of ‘strangers,’ we have come to believe if we teach our children about ‘stranger danger,’ we have thoroughly protected our children from this horrific crime. The first response we form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. ‘I don’t have to be concerned about that in my community. That would never happen in my family.’ The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused. To understand how sexual child abuse is perpetrated by the person we least suspect one needs to have a comprehensive definition of sexual abuse. “Traditionally, incest [sexual abuse] was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child’s expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator’s age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated.. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors).” There are two types of sexual abuse approaches—overt and covert. Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she/he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his/her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his/her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with him/herself because he/she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her/him discounts signs of the abuse, because we don’t want to believe someone with a sterling public image would do such a thing. Thus the child feels crazy, as if she/he is the one with the problem. One example of overt sexual abuse whereby the perpetrator disguises his actions and those present are in denial about what is transpiring is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported seeing. Her father (her perpetrator) kissed his granddaughter, her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece finished her bath. Her sister, the child’s mother, the child’s grandmother (wife of the perpetrator) were present. “My sister and mother (the child’s grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting,” she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in therapy she would not have considered it sexual abuse either. An example of covert sexual abuse by someone we least expect is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been ‘fondled’ when she was nine by a family friend. “He helped me on with my coat at a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast.” This type fondling is often times referred to as ‘coping a feel.’ No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. Women know how icky it feels when a man ‘cops a feel.’ Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced? Another example of covert sexual abuse by someone you least expect was told to me by my client, Rickie (not his real name). He remembered being held by his mother’s best friend in the water at the beach when he was six, while his parents sat on the beach. Fully protected from view by the water, she fondled his penis. This was not the end of the sexual abuse. When Rickie was 15 years old, she enticed him to have sex with her at her home while he waited for her son, his friend to come home. The second incident of her sexual abuse of Rickie was overt. There are six key techniques to abuse-proof your child. •Avoid spanking your child—spanking is a body boundary violation. Perpetrators target children who have had body boundary violations because they are less apt to protest any unacceptable body boundary violations, are more compliant with adults and are less apt to tell. You can avoid your child from falling prey to these cunning perpetrators by doing everything to avoid making your child a target. •Avoid touching your child in erotic areas—buttocks, chest, thighs, etc. Perpetrators state they use familiar touch (rubbing the child’s legs, buttocks or hugging/kissing) to desensitize the child before using touch which is sexual in content and intent. If your child is unaccustomed to being touched in erotic areas, he/she will protest immediately. Protesting will either thwart the perpetrator or alert anyone nearby that something is awry. •Teach your child self-protection by teaching him/her to protest violation of body boundaries or unwanted touch beginning at age two. •Practice and teach your child good body image. •Practice and teach your child to TELL YOU EVERYTHING, NO SECRETS FROM MOMMY and DADDY. •Practice and Teach Appropriate Suspicion—Trust your intuition, (a.k.a Sixth Sense) free penis enhancement pennis enlargement result natural penis enlargment exercise truth about penis enlargement pnis enlargement review best penis enargement penis enhancement pills safe penile enlargement natural pnis enlargement technique

Are you expecting a baby? Are you planning on having a baby soon? Want to know how to make a baby? No, I’m only kidding. The thing is, if you have, or will have a baby some time soon, you may just like to consider what to do to treat and to prevent wasp and bee stings. I will also cover houseflies. Wasp stings should be treated by rubbing vinegar onto the affected area of the skin. Alternatively, there are many lotions available that will treat wasp stings. Bee stings are a little more troublesome as the bees leaves its stinger in the victim’s skin. If you try to pinch the sting out of the skin, you may actually pump more venom into the body. The best thing to do is to scrape horizontally across the skin in order to knock the sting out (try using a credit card). Apply the appropriate lotion or use baking soda mixed with water (this should reduce irritation). For both wasp and bee stings, it may improve things if you apply something cool to the affected area. This should reduce the pain. Wasp and bee stings can be distressing to baby or young child. In most cases the pain will go away in time. In a minority of cases an allergic reaction may result. If your child develops breathing difficulties, any swelling around eyes, lips, tongue or penis, any red blotching, light-headedness or fainting, then they must be seen by a doctor immediately. Houseflies do not sting of course, but their presence can actually be worse than that of wasps or bees. They can carry some quite nasty germs and they have a habit of depositing some of those germs wherever they land. When babies start to eat solids, they can be very messy indeed. This mess will lure houseflies and wasps. Apart from troubling your baby, they will be in danger of being stung by the wasp or infected by the fly. How do you prevent these flying insects from troubling your baby? If you are out, then it may be a good precaution to drape a net over the baby buggy, especially if your baby is eating an iced-cream or a cream bun! When indoors, it may be best to have a fly killer machine fitted in the rooms your baby spends time in. There are many units to choose from at www.eeeee.co.uk. The machine must be just above door height (never in reach of baby). We all know that babies cry for all sorts of reasons. It can be distressing, however, when they cry as a result of something that we could have prevented.